Coz
….Girlfriends will be Girlfriends &
Men. will be Men....
Rohit
was disturbed and quite visibly disturbed, Jagjit's Gazal's & Rum were not
enough to console a recently broken heart, after 4 pegs of Rum dashed with
coke stashed on an empty stomach, Rohit opened himself to Shankz, 'I was
fucking shocked when my Anita said, “I always
felt that one day a dream Merchant would come long riding on a white horse and
take me away,......................... and then you came",
I mean what does that Biteeech... meant
yaar…???... “ So how did you react to that RP?”, asked Shankz by tossing his
eyebrows up and with bloodshot eyes, 'I could have easily gone into my shell
and nodded, but I had to make a comeback as if the entire male fraternity’s
fate rested on what said in those next 10 seconds, I used all my wits and
replied , ‘ Honey , every girl right from
Princess to an Ugly Duckling dream’s of Prince Charming! ‘'.
and then we got into a frenzy fight and that was the end of that, she said its
difficult to spend a moment with a chauvinist like you!' Rohit gulped the
last sip in the glass and indicated a refill to Shankz,words slowly came out of
his mouth ' I really felt like the chick is acting really pricy with full of
hypocrisy , I told her, 'I think we need to have a relook at the decision of
seeing each other for few days!', that was the beginning of the end
of our relationship “, Rohit gulped next peg without any assistance from Coca
Colar, the pain of broken heart was more than warm than raw alcohol running down his throat,
"Woah! Baby! RP, you ripped that one off alright!”said Shankz sipping on
to his Patiala peg,now alcohol had taken over Shankz and he himself was unaware
he was cranking up Rohit .
Rohit
continued, “Women are never (for lack of a better word) satisfied, with what
they have, for them grass on the other lady’s garden is more green & lush.
As if the other lady has booked Centre court of Wimbledon then all you
are is dry scarred & scratched surface of Roland Garos. To which Shankz
gave a rise smile, appreciating the analogy.
'Hmmmm
satisfaction! haaan!....', whispered Shankz, 'was she not ?.....i mean didn't
you guys....?', 'shut the Fuck up man!, no kidding i am in real pain here,
thought you shall understand me...!', 'all right Jimmy boy chill! ..ok
continue', Shankz defended with a smile on his face! 'Women have this
tendency to complain right from the dessert’s served on their plate to the men
they date.'
To
this Shankz threw a cigarette in his mouth in style and said, dude don’t tempt
me by talking about dessert’s at this hour, to this Rohit gave
a playful smacked back of his head and
said, “You bastard! you promised me to stop by and listen to my tragedy and
help us patch back together!”, taking a big drag Shankz replied ‘ easy! Easy!
Romeo, I haven’t started as yet, it’s just that you took the conversation on
the subject of Satisfaction, c’mon now trust your friend and knock it off!, so
tell me now that you broke up with Anita, how far did you go with Miss.Rai, did
you get your share of Pie?....Buddie boy!... Or as you finance guys say, you
had a negative ROI... Hahhahaa!..', Shanks burst into laughter.
So
tell me.?, did she go down on you?..... Ummmmhhh I bet it would be amazing her
soft incandescent skin and luscious pink lips, wrapped on lil Mr. R, her warm
breath, dazzling curves, dangling hair, innocent baby eyes, and winter
chill!... Ummm boy zindagi key maze toh
tune bahut bara-bar se loote honge?’ Shankz was blabbering but his
intoxicatingl talk but had induced a visible amount of bulge in RP’s pajamas,
with Anita's thoughts. Anita Rai, as classy as a women could get, daughter of
Wing Commander Pratap Raj Rai, born in a liberal family, product of a Punjabi
mother & tulu father, she was all grace & gile. long curly hair,
big innocent eyes, two dimples which would spring upon even at a remote
occurance of a grin,features and figure that could be envied by any top
supermodel. Shanki was never so candid in the past about how he felt about
Anita and Rohits relationship,
and
alcohol came to his rescue, but it was always difficult to take SHANKZ
seriously. Rohit screamed ‘ Stop it!!! SHANKZ!!!!’,I loved her and dare you
talk all that nonsense, she is my girl and I shall not tolerate this kind of
language from you’,’ relax don’t get tensed and get your tense right, she was
your girl, now you are a free man, free like a honey bee to feed on nectar of
millions of flowers in the garden, koih
naa tu bass load matt le kake!, ek gai sau aajayngi,chill maar!, I
think you need gum ka saathi rum, chal ghatak jaa”, SHANKZ poured RP a neat
drink, which he gulped I moments and started.
‘Change
is evident and eminent in your life, as you enter depths of a relationship, as
long as this change stays in realms of inculcation of good habits, you are on
the right track but the moment you feel this radical change is transforming you
into a person which you are not and don’t enjoy being, you feel that you might
get derailed any day.’, said Rohit after finishing his shot, Shankz sang in a
heavy voice’ OLD MONK is talking talking….’
I
am not trying to be a Male Chauvinist ( I hate to use the word Pig, as I don’t
know if Chivalry and Chauvinism run into the entire spectrum of animal
kingdom) but the above mentioned syndrome is true and even a female can have
that attribute, why are we blamed always?.
Talking
about chauvinism it’s a favourite 10 letter word, which every second female has
in her dictionary, and women take pride in making maximum use of it even on a
remotest opportunity they get. I am not part of some anti women bashing forum,
but I am trying to analyze some of the nasty habits of ladies.
‘Waah
mere cheete , chodenge nai….. saabki bajegiii, tu hai mera Royal Bengal Tiger’,
shouted Shankz disturbing the cold midnight air, now unable to control the
alcohol filled in his bladders, they had to let loose from the balcony of 14’th
floor of the posh Vasant Valley complex, ‘ Oye Kake yahan mutravisarjan hua toh
chalega naa?’, RP was now flying , he replied ‘ Bhen di saand 18,000/- kiraya
kisska bharte hai, kar de Mrs. Murthy ki balcony gili with your pili pili dont
worry yaara silli... sillii’ both friends were slaushed by now.
Rohit
continued ‘Another habit that girlfriends posses is their ability to bitch
about other women, especially in front of their boyfriends, they derive
this immense pleasure in contemplating and commenting on other female’s
wretched lives. You will seldom see two females being very good friend without
a profit motive being involved Why so ? no .... no... but why so?’
‘Sojatee
hai kake, tere cat aur usske cat fights k kissse baadme sunaaiyo,’, said
Shanks, picking himself up with aid of the balcony grill, Rohit whispered,
‘Females dogs are Beacheezz not katz bondhu’, the last last drop of rum
awakened the bong inside RP, philosophy and words like bondhu were oozing out…
they collapsed on the bed.
They
slept off in the living room itself,
Rohit
woke up early, and started blabbering, with a mug of coffee in his hands 'what
we said yesterday was completely wrong, she is very nice girl, the best, i can
ever have, Shankz , we were so wrong , so wrong I think I should call her an
apologize', he felt a sense of guilt, felt as if Anita was present in Rohits
balcony and was hearing every single word of conversation between two
drunken buddies.
Shankz
just passed Hmm's in return to Rohit's contemplative afterthoughts.
but Rohit kept on talking to himself loud, Shankz woke upwhile scratching his
head and screamed " Ohhh God! are break offs Hangover free? ".
The
door bell was ringing violently, Rohit thought, why has the
milkman become so generous to wake us up, Shnakz with a heavy head
decided to see who was trying to ruin a Sunday morning, as he opened a
fuming lady with a dark red round bindi,
wrapped in a kanjivaram silk saree, studded with gold jewellery
from top to bottom, and long tied greased hair, over oiled so
much so that it dripped on her forehead, even the OPEC countries would
be jealous of her if they found the technology to produce gasoline
from coconut.
It
was Murthy with her husbands favourite white shirt, which was hanging in
her balcony, she cursed us in Kannada, which they hardly could get, but one
thing they figured out the bashing was for Android, Rohit's cute little and
innocent Pug.
The
boys took a sigh of relief when the lady left, and thanked the heavens, as they
had accurately showered Mrs. Murthys miniature garden last night , and broke into laughter, and cuddled with
Asteroid, who man handled Mr. Murthy's white shining armour to work.
