Break K Baad...

 Coz ….Girlfriends will be Girlfriends &  Men. will be Men....

Rohit was disturbed and quite visibly disturbed, Jagjit's Gazal's & Rum were not enough to console a recently broken heart, after 4 pegs of Rum dashed with coke stashed on an empty stomach, Rohit opened himself to Shankz, 'I was fucking shocked when my Anita said, “I always felt that one day a dream Merchant would come long riding on a white horse and take me away,......................... and then you came",

 I mean what does that Biteeech... meant yaar…???... “ So how did you react to that RP?”, asked Shankz by tossing his eyebrows up and with bloodshot eyes, 'I could have easily gone into my shell and nodded, but I had to make a comeback as if the entire male fraternity’s fate rested on what said in those next 10 seconds, I used all my wits and replied , ‘ Honey , every girl right from Princess to an Ugly Duckling  dream’s of Prince Charming! ‘'. and then we got into a frenzy fight and that was the end of that, she said its difficult to spend a moment with a  chauvinist like you!' Rohit gulped the last sip in the glass and indicated a refill to Shankz,words slowly came out of his mouth ' I really felt like the chick is acting really pricy with full of hypocrisy , I told her, 'I think we need to have a relook at the decision of seeing each other for few days!', that was the beginning of the end of our relationship “, Rohit gulped next peg without any assistance from Coca Colar, the pain of broken heart was more than warm than  raw alcohol running down his throat, "Woah! Baby! RP, you ripped that one off alright!”said Shankz sipping on to his Patiala peg,now alcohol had taken over Shankz and he himself was unaware he was cranking up Rohit . 

Rohit continued, “Women are never (for lack of a better word) satisfied, with what they have, for them grass on the other lady’s garden is more green & lush. As if the other lady has booked Centre court of Wimbledon then  all you are is dry scarred & scratched surface of Roland Garos. To which Shankz gave a rise smile, appreciating the analogy.

'Hmmmm satisfaction! haaan!....', whispered Shankz, 'was she not ?.....i mean didn't you guys....?', 'shut the Fuck up man!, no kidding i am in real pain here, thought you shall understand me...!', 'all right Jimmy boy chill! ..ok continue', Shankz defended with a smile on his face! 'Women have this tendency to complain right from the dessert’s served on their plate to the men they date.'

To this Shankz threw a cigarette in his mouth in style and said, dude don’t tempt me by talking about  dessert’s at this hour, to this Rohit gave a playful smacked  back of his head and said, “You bastard! you promised me to stop by and listen to my tragedy and help us patch back together!”, taking a big drag Shankz replied ‘ easy! Easy! Romeo, I haven’t started as yet, it’s just that you took the conversation on the subject of Satisfaction, c’mon now trust your friend and knock it off!, so tell me now that you broke up with Anita, how far did you go with Miss.Rai, did you get your share of Pie?....Buddie boy!... Or as you finance guys say, you had a negative ROI... Hahhahaa!..', Shanks burst into laughter.

So tell me.?, did she go down on you?..... Ummmmhhh I bet it would be amazing her soft incandescent skin and luscious pink lips, wrapped on lil Mr. R, her warm breath, dazzling curves, dangling hair, innocent baby eyes,  and winter chill!... Ummm boy zindagi key maze toh tune bahut bara-bar se loote honge?’  Shankz was blabbering but his intoxicatingl talk but had induced a visible amount of bulge in RP’s pajamas, with Anita's thoughts. Anita Rai, as classy as a women could get, daughter of Wing Commander Pratap Raj Rai, born in a liberal family, product of a Punjabi  mother & tulu father, she was all grace & gile. long curly hair, big innocent eyes, two dimples which would spring upon even at a remote occurance of a grin,features and figure that could be envied by any top supermodel. Shanki was never so candid in the past about how he felt about Anita and Rohits relationship,

and alcohol came to his rescue, but it was always difficult to take SHANKZ seriously. Rohit screamed ‘ Stop it!!! SHANKZ!!!!’,I loved her and dare you talk all that nonsense, she is my girl and I shall not tolerate this kind of language from you’,’ relax don’t get tensed and get your tense right, she was your girl, now you are a free man, free like a honey bee to feed on nectar of millions of flowers in the garden, koih naa tu bass load matt le kake!, ek gai sau aajayngi,chill maar!,  I think you need gum ka saathi rum, chal ghatak jaa”, SHANKZ poured RP a neat drink, which he gulped I moments and started.   

‘Change is evident and eminent in your life, as you enter depths of a relationship, as long as this change stays in realms of inculcation of good habits, you are on the right track but the moment you feel this radical change is transforming you into a person which you are not and don’t enjoy being, you feel that you might get derailed any day.’, said Rohit after finishing his shot, Shankz sang in a heavy voice’ OLD MONK is talking talking….’

I am not trying to be a Male Chauvinist ( I hate to use the word Pig, as I don’t know if Chivalry and Chauvinism  run into the entire spectrum of animal kingdom) but the above mentioned syndrome is true and even a female can have that attribute, why are we blamed always?.

Talking about chauvinism it’s a favourite 10 letter word, which every second female has in her dictionary, and women take pride in making maximum use of it even on a remotest opportunity they get. I am not part of some anti women bashing forum, but I am trying to analyze some of the nasty habits of ladies.

‘Waah mere cheete , chodenge nai….. saabki bajegiii, tu hai mera Royal Bengal Tiger’, shouted Shankz disturbing the cold midnight air, now unable to control the alcohol filled in his bladders, they had to let loose from the balcony of 14’th floor of the posh Vasant Valley complex, ‘ Oye Kake yahan mutravisarjan hua toh chalega naa?’, RP was now flying , he replied ‘ Bhen di saand 18,000/- kiraya kisska bharte hai, kar de Mrs. Murthy ki balcony gili with your pili pili dont worry yaara silli... sillii’ both friends were slaushed by now.

Rohit continued ‘Another habit that girlfriends posses is their ability to bitch about other women,  especially in front of their boyfriends, they derive this immense pleasure in contemplating and commenting on other female’s wretched lives. You will seldom see two females being very good friend without a profit motive being involved Why so ? no .... no... but why so?’

‘Sojatee hai kake, tere cat aur usske cat fights k kissse baadme sunaaiyo,’, said Shanks, picking himself up with aid of the balcony grill, Rohit whispered, ‘Females dogs are Beacheezz not katz bondhu’, the last last drop of rum awakened the bong inside RP, philosophy and words like bondhu were oozing out… they collapsed on the bed.

They slept off in the living room itself,

Rohit woke up early, and started blabbering, with a mug of coffee in his hands 'what we said yesterday was completely wrong, she is very nice girl, the best, i can ever have, Shankz , we were so wrong , so wrong I think I should call her an apologize', he felt a sense of guilt, felt as if Anita was present in Rohits balcony and was hearing every single word of conversation between two drunken buddies.

Shankz just passed Hmm's in return to Rohit's contemplative afterthoughts. but Rohit kept on talking to himself loud, Shankz woke upwhile scratching his head and screamed " Ohhh God! are break offs Hangover free? ".

The door bell was ringing violently, Rohit thought, why has the milkman become so generous to wake us up, Shnakz with a heavy head decided to see who was trying to ruin a Sunday morning, as he opened a fuming lady with a dark red round bindi,  wrapped in a kanjivaram silk saree,  studded with gold jewellery from top to bottom, and long tied greased hair, over oiled so much so that it dripped on her forehead, even the OPEC countries would be jealous of her if they found the technology to produce gasoline from coconut.

It was Murthy with her husbands favourite white shirt, which was hanging in her balcony, she cursed us in Kannada, which they hardly could get, but one thing they figured out the bashing was for Android, Rohit's cute little and innocent  Pug.

The boys took a sigh of relief when the lady left, and thanked the heavens, as they had accurately showered Mrs. Murthys miniature garden last night  , and broke into laughter, and cuddled with Asteroid, who man handled Mr. Murthy's white shining armour to work.